He disabled his match.com account in front of me
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
