I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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