My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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