I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
