im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
