I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
