one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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