im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
