What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
