Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
