Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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