and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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