Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
