What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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