I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
then he tried to convert me to islam
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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