i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
