Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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