I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
