did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
