4 words: hood of his car
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
