i jhust puked up my retainher.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
