You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
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My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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