Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
