I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
