The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
