I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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