I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
