I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize