I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The police scanner is talking about you again....
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
