Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
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He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
cat food counts as protein by the way
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize