whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
