we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
