Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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