it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
