In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
