420 ftw
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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