So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
