I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I believe in your delicious
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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