There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
