a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
