I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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