Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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