no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
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no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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