Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Vodka?
Forever.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
