yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
