Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
