i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
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i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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