OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
