I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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