I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
