He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
being pregnant is like rehab
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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