Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
and you fell through a lawn chair
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
