He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.