You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.