what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap