She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Cover your peen. We're going out.