He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
