lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
oh god the rape fog is back!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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