Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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