You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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