He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
