I love black thongs
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
