The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
