Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
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I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
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Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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