An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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